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tommy.irene

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PostSubject: Jokes Jokes 26   Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:25 am

First topic message reminder :

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc., everytime I drink coffee, I get terrible pains in my eye."

The doctor says, "Try taking the spoon out first."

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes Jokes 26   Mon Jul 01, 2013 7:51 am

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?
NONE, they never get the house!


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PostSubject: Re: Jokes Jokes 26   Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:07 am

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home so she puts her lover in the closet not realizing that her son is hiding in there.

The little boy says ''It's dark in here''
The man replies ''Yes, it is''
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together once again.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab
your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that again!''

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes Jokes 26   Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:01 am

affraid affraid affraid affraid affraid cheers cheers cheers cheers lol! lol! lol! 

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes Jokes 26   Wed Jul 03, 2013 7:55 am

A very well-known international furniture and interior decoration D.I.Y. Store recently set up a customer assistance department. The first call they got was from a lady who had purchased a wardrobe early in the morning. She explained that after assembly the wardrobe had crumbled three times when the public transport bus passed in front of her house. The store sent a technician over to her place. He reassembled the wardrobe - which was in the night hall on the second floor - and then went into it to observe what would happen when the bus, which was due a few minutes later, went by. The phone rang just then and the lady went downstairs to take the call. Just then her husband came home from work with a terrible flue condition. Hearing his wife on the phone he trudged upstairs where he found the wardrobe; on opening one of the doors and seeing the man inside he exclaimed "What the dickens are you doing in there!?!" To which the guy replied "I know you'll never believe this, but I'm waiting for the bus!!"


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PostSubject: Re: Jokes Jokes 26   Thu Jul 04, 2013 1:57 am

affraid affraid affraid cheers cheers lol! lol! 

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes Jokes 26   Thu Jul 04, 2013 8:40 am

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any
kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago
given up trying to get him to change.

One day John came home with another one of his unusual
purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was
actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when
Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school.
Tommy was over 2 hours late..

"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late
getting home?" asked John.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an
extra credit project," said Tommy.
The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy,
knocking him completely out of his chair.

"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie
detector, now tell us where you really were after
school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a
movie." said Tommy..
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped
him, knocking him off his chair.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and
said, “I am sorry I lied.. We really watched a tape called
“Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son," said John.. "When
I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack
that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and
said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be
too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out
of her chair…

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