Jokes Jokes 25

Subject: Jokes Jokes 25 Wed Jun 05, 2013 8:39 am

First topic message reminder :

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out
to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very
highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name
of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the
kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went
to last night?'

Subject: Re: Jokes Jokes 25 Tue Jun 18, 2013 8:29 am

After leaving the racetrack Bill bumped into his old friend Peter on the bus.

“Say,” Peter said, “How’s it going?” “Going? You want to hear one of the most amazing things that ever happened? Tell me- what’s today’s date?”

“July seventh.” “Right. The seventh day, of the seventh month. I go to the track at seven minutes past seven. My son is seven years old today, and we live at number seven, Seventh Avenue.” “Let me guess,” Peter interrupted. “You put everything you had on the seventh horse in the seventh race.” “Right.”

“And he won!” Peter sighed.

“No. He came in seventh.”

Subject: Re: Jokes Jokes 25 Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:20 am

Regards

Retro

Subject: Re: Jokes Jokes 25 Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:28 am

Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're

suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?

"Yes, Bubba, sure is true,” responded the lawyer.

"And now someone's suin' them fast food restaurants for making 'em

fat and cloggin' their hearts with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?"

"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"

"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinkin' can I sue Budweiser

for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

Subject: Re: Jokes Jokes 25 Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:24 am

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc., everytime I drink coffee, I get terrible pains in my eye."
The doctor says, "Try taking the spoon out first."

Subject: Re: Jokes Jokes 25 Fri Jun 21, 2013 5:19 am

See what happens changed tp white/white

Just write in normally and Post without touching colours to see if comes out white now.

Boxes still white but doesn't matter

Subject: Re: Jokes Jokes 25 Fri Jun 21, 2013 5:24 am

I've changed font to white/white so just see what happens?

Regards

Retro

Subject: Re: Jokes Jokes 25 Fri Jun 21, 2013 8:48 am

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write all of this down.

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear ' the rules'
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football
or golf .

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; Its still not working.

__________________

Subject: Re: Jokes Jokes 25 Sat Jun 22, 2013 2:52 am

Hi Tommy

The red part came out ok so do all in red and see what happens.

I have edited what was barely visible to white but use the red as you will see on white background also.

cheers

Regards

Retro

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