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 JOKES JOKES 13

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tommy.irene

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PostSubject: JOKES JOKES 13   Thu Dec 20, 2012 8:42 am

There once was an old man who was about to die. He told his wife to put a bag of money in the attic "When I die I'll get it on my way up." chuckled the old man. Well when the old man died the wife went up to the attic and found that the bag of money was still there. "I knew I should have put that money in the cellar!" said the old woman.

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Fri Dec 21, 2012 6:19 am

cheers cheers cheers affraid lol!

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Fri Dec 21, 2012 9:10 am

The World did not end as im still here and putting jokes on........
A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
She paused a moment and looked around the room. “I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
From the back of the room came a voice, “He’d be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries.”

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Sat Dec 22, 2012 12:23 am

affraid affraid affraid cheers cheers lol!

Yes still here Tommy.


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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Sat Dec 22, 2012 7:54 am

A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she’s to skinny. After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman.” sure son" the father replied, drooling. “We’ll take her home and eat you mother!"

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:50 pm

cheers cheers cheers cheers lol!


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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:07 am

Pulling into the crowded parking lot at the shopping center
rolled down the car windows to make sure my dog had
fresh air. She was stretched full out on the back seat and I
wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I
walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car
and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? "Stay!
Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young lady, gave
me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put the handbrake on.

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Sun Dec 23, 2012 8:47 pm


conversation in heaven...................................................SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:49 am

cheers cheers cheers cheers lol! lol!

Good ones Tommy

I might not be in for a couple of days over Xmas so don't worry if no replies.

Will catch up. No worries.

You and Irene and Family please have a great Xmas and a brilliant New Year. santa


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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Mon Dec 24, 2012 8:45 am

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says. The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?" The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Fri Dec 28, 2012 8:13 am

A garage mechanic comes out to rescue a broken down car. Out of respect for other drivers the mechanic leaves his hazards on while parked on the side of the road. The exhaust from the broken down car has fallen off and needs tying up before the car can be driven onto the mechanic's trailer. The mechanic tells the car owner "As it is only 3:00pm I should be able to have the car ready for you by 5pm". At 5:10pm the mechanic rings the car owner. "Sorry I didn't ring you by 5:00pm, but I only got back to the garage 5 minutes ago. "Why, what happened?" asked the car owner. "My vehicle battery went flat, and I had to ring the garage to ask for another mechanic to come out and rescue me," replied the mechanic.

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Sat Dec 29, 2012 12:38 am

Very Happy affraid cheers cheers albino lol!


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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Sun Dec 30, 2012 9:35 am

Bob and Tom both like to golf. One day Bob went to Tom and said, "Hey look at this great ball!" Tom replied, "What’s so great about it?" Bob said, "Well if you lose it, it will beep until you find it, and if it goes into the water it will float. This ball is impossible to lose!" "Wow!", said Tom, "Where did you get that from?" Bob replied, "I found it."

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Mon Dec 31, 2012 8:50 pm

Happy New Year .. Retro .. From Irene and Tommy.

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Thu Jan 03, 2013 9:47 am

When things go wrong, When sadness fill your heart, When tears flow in your eyes, Just let me know, Cause I want to be there for you, I am selling tissues,buy one get one free..

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PostSubject: Re: JOKES JOKES 13   Fri Jan 04, 2013 1:09 am

cheers cheers cheers cheers lol!

Happy New Year to you both and the very best to come your way. sunny


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